Love it in the air. Or is it?

Wether you think Valentine’s Day’s a load of commerical clap trap, designed purely to get you to spend your hard earned money on love tokens, or a romatic way to tell your loved ones you care, it does serve as a useful reminder to think about love.

The annual love fest on February 14th is eagerly anticipated by many young lovers, while other people hate it, and some of us barely give it a passing thought.

My husband falls into the latter category and I’m not much better ~ I usually scrawl him a quick love poem at the last minute and present it on a dog-eared bit of paper torn from one of the kid’s exercise books. Sadly, this routine leaves us both unimpressed but read on to discover how to bridge the gulf between loving someone and actually making them feel loved.

It’s quick, easy and surprisingly effective because improving your personal relationships can be as simple as finding out the best way to make someone feel loved. Best of all, with a little creativity and forward thinking, you can use these ideas to improve your relationships with friends, colleagues, kids and family, not just with your partner in romance.

Often expressing your love is hard

In the States, I know that some parents send Valentine’s Day cards to their kids and vice versa where as in the UK, New Zealand and Australia the concept is confined purely to romantic love. I spent a lot of time with North Americans in Costa Rica and noticed that on Valentine’s Day some of them even posted messages of love to their platonic friends on Facebook. One good friend held a Valentine’s Day family party where all the kids made crafty stuff with hearts.

I embrace this free flow of love but sadly it doesn’t come as easily for most Brits. (Please remember that although I live in Australia and have a New Zealand passport, I was born and raised in the UK.)

My lovely north American girl friends in Costa Rica often told me they loved me or my family enthusing:

“We love you guys!”

This was awkward for my husband and me at first. Being British, we don’t even tell our closest family that we love them, let alone friends. Still, I soon got into the flow of it and became quite adept at telling people I love them, even if they weren’t related by blood or marriage. Telling someone you love them and hearing that someone loves you is pretty special and it’s not something we can hear too often, but there are other great ways to show people you care.

What’s the best way to make someone feel loved?

There’s no simple answer to that but by the end of this article you’ll have a few guidelines.

Have you heard of the five languages of love?

They were noted by Dr. Gary Chapman, in his book, The Five Love Languages, published in 1992 and on the New York Times bestseller list for over two years, you can buy it on Amazon.

But if you don’t have time to read it or can’t get hold of it immediately, here’s a cheat sheet. I read The Five Love Languages of Children by Chapman and Ross Campbell years ago and it made a lasting impression. I think the basic principles and the love languages are the same for adults and children.

How understanding the love languages can improve your personal relationships

• You’ll be able to show people you care about them in the way that means the most for them.
• You won’t waste time trying to tell them you love them in a way that leaves them cold.

It makes sense to me that some of us have different ways of showing their love. Some husbands buy gifts for their wives. Some kids pick flowers for their mums. Some adult children take their dad to see the big game. Some friends give each other a massage. They’re all valid ways to show you care but there is one problem.

If you don’t actually say “I love you,” then will the loved one know you care?

The book explains that everyone has different ways of knowing that they’re loved. Obviously we all need to feel loved, but if everyone experiences that in different ways how can we know what the best way to show them we love them is?

The Five Languages of Love

The answer is to know and understand the five languages of love and tailor how you show love to suit different people.

For example, my oldest child’s love language is gifts. So I can tell him I love him and hug him daily. I can hang out with him at the skate park and help him with his homework but he won’t really feel loved until I give him a gift.

The five languages of love are:

1. Words – Actually telling someone you love them.
2. Touch – For example, a hug, kiss or a foot rub.
3. Gifts – Giving them something they desire.
4. Time – Spending quality time with someone
5. Favors – Performing an act of service them.

How do you work out what someone’s love language is?

There are two main choices:

1. Just ask them.

2. Watch how they show other people they love them as that proably holds clues to their love language.

What’s Your Love Language?

In case you’re wondering, my love language is favors. When someone does an act of service for me I know they really care about me and I’ll definitely return the favor. So if you want to let me know you love me this Valentine’s Day, the best way to do it is Stumble, Tweet or Digg this post using the buttons below:)

As for my husband, hopefully he’ll make me lunch. And I’ll be giving him a big hug.

What’s your love language and what’s the best way for someone to show they care about you?

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Most new readers spend a minute subscribing to Get In the Hot Spot because it’s a brilliant way to stay motivated and inspired plus it’s totally free. Don’t miss out. Subscribe now by email or to choose the RSS Feed for updates in your feed reader.

Thanks for Reading

A warm welcome to all my new subscribers and welcome back to the old faithfuls – it’s great to connect with you. Many thanks also to Le vent le cri for use of the photo.

Please Support Me: Tell People About Get In the Hot Spot

If you like this article, please Tweet it or email a friend with the link. My clever computer boffin has added a little tool to make it easier for you to email it to friends, or add it to your favorite social media website. I hear that if you Digg it, or bookmark it on Delicious or Stumbleupon, that will get more readers here. Many thanks for your help, I appreciate it.

Other Self Development Articles

>> 5 Instructions For Better Writing and Life

>> 10 Things To Be Grateful For and Why You Should Be

>> 101 Ways To Feel Happier

>> 5 Ways To Prevent Depression

>> 10 Ways To Get The Life You Want

>> 3 Keys To Living Our Dreams

 

Filed under: Self Help & Self Development | 3 Comments » | Print This Post

Recommended: The 4-Hour Work Week

Does The 4-Hour Workweek seem like a gimmicky name and an impossible goal for life?

I thought so too until I read the book.

To make things worse it’s subtitled, Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich

If you’re thinking, yeah, right, please bear with me. I was equally sceptical until I actually laid my hot little paws on this excellent tome.

Yes, despite the hype, I confess to being hugely impressed by this book. In fact, I totally recommend it as essential reading for people who’re dreaming of a better life.

Not only will The 4-Hour Workweek inspire you to aim high but it’s full of practical tips on how to get there.

So if you’d like to work for yourself, earn a decent income or even create a passive income so you have time to enjoy your  new found wealth, then you should definitely read this book.

The Author

Author, Tim Ferriss, is something of a hero in the business, publishing and blogging circles.

He launched his book and blog at the same time and they both shot to success, with the book sitting on the New York Times bestseller list for two years and being translated into over 35 languages, while the blog quickly established him as an a-list blogger.

I know I’m a bit late coming to the party on this one – The 4-Hour Workweek was published in 2007 – but it’s a classic book for both business and personal development so if you haven’t already read it, there’s no time like the present.

The Blurb

On the back of the book there’s a stern warning:

Do not read this book unless you want to give up your job

The blurb continues:

Forget the old concept of retirement and saving for the future – there is no need to wait and every reason not to. Whether your dream is escaping the rat race, experiencing first-class world travel, earning a monthly five-figure income with no management, or just living more and working less, this book is the blueprint.

Yes, it’s a bit hard sell but there are definitely concepts here that will prove useful to anyone.

Best Bits

Here’s an overview of some of the information that I found most enlightening.

1. The timing is never right

When it comes to change there will always be resistance, but knowing that the timing’s never right should give you courage to do it anyway.

2. Some stress is good

Ferriss introduces the concept of eustress, describing it as:

“Stress that is healthful and the stimulus of growth.”

It certainly sounds more appealing than the daily stress of a working in a job you don’t like, with people who don’t appreciate you and for hours which don’t let you have a life outside of work. That’s the kind of stress that gradually wears you down, saps your creativity, kills your joie de vivre and makes you an unhappy, unhealthy human being. That’s the type of stress none of us need.

But embracing the good stress can help us go places though.

3. Risks aren’t as scary when you take them

If you’ve ever taken a risk you’ll  know the truth of this. Thinking about jumping out of a plane on your first parachute jump may be terrifying, but actually doing it is more likely to be exhilarating, life-affirming and a major confidence boost. The same goes for most fears, be it public speaking, quitting your job or moving overseas. I’ve written about Giving Fear the Finger myself if you want fear fighting incentives and tips.

Ferriss notes that people choose unhappiness over uncertainly, a statement that should give most people a kick up the arse and convince them that a life of unhappiness is not a life at all. To sum up courage to take a risk he recommends asking:

“What’s the worst thing that can happen?”

There, it’s not that bad is it?

4. Control the Internet, don’t let it eat up your life

No web surfing unless you need information that very day.

Yes, need! Needing information is different from web surfing to fill the time or for fun. Who surfs the Internet for fun anyway? Not me. When I want fun I hit the Pacific Ocean with my surf board, hop on my bike or meet friends.

The Internet should mainly be a tool for you to get the information you need. It’s brilliant for that, but limit it to information gathering. Nothing  more and nothing less.

That’s why I keep my blog writing:

• Relevant to your goals
• Fast to read
• Actionable
• Uplifting and inspirational

5. Make decisions easily

Never sit on the fence about decisions by saying things like:

“I don’t mind.” or “Whatever you want.”

Use expressions like “I propose” or “I suggest” to do what you want to do when you want to do it and eliminate living in limbo.

6. Outsource your life

Ferriss recommends using personal or business services in India, or elsewhere, to do menial, irritating or time-consuming jobs for a reasonable cost, so you can free up your time for the important stuff.

Check out Ask Sunday if you’d like to have your life simplified. They’re even offering a free personal assistant for one week. I’m going to take advantage of it soon, so I’ll let you know how I get on.

Otherwise  look for a personal assistant on Elance or run with Indian help such as B2kcorp for business, or Your Man in India, for personal and business services.

Dream Big, Start Small

I do recommend you read this book to keep your dream alive and help you get there. You can buy it on Amazon now for yourself, or as a gift for a friend who’s stuck in a rut.

If you think the 4-hour workweek’s not possible think again.

Ferriss’s model may be an ambitious one, but wannabe business owners know that their dream is not impossible.

I may not be working a 4 hour week quite yet, but I’m working from home, at the hours that suit me and in my nightgown, which is a pretty good start. Thanks to Ferriss, I now have more tools and tips at my disposal to keep me striving for more. Or maybe that should be less…

I might get dressed soon and go for a walk on the beach. It’s all part of the creative process.

What are you doing to stay on track with your dreams?

Don’t Delay Subscribe Today

Most new readers spend a minute subscribing to Get In the Hot Spot because it’s a brilliant way to stay motivated and inspired plus it’s totally free.

Don’t miss out. Subscribe now by email or to choose the RSS Feed for updates in your feed reader.

Thanks for Reading

A warm welcome to all my new subscribers and welcome back to the old faithfuls – it’s great to connect with you. Many thanks also to Jeroen Bennick for use of the photo.

Please Support Me: Tell People About Get In the Hot Spot

If you like this article, please Tweet it or email a friend with the link. My clever computer boffin has added a little tool to make it easier for you to email it to friends, or add it to your favorite social media website. I hear that if you Digg it, or bookmark it on Delicious or Stumbleupon, that will get more readers here.

Many thanks for your help, I appreciate it.

 

Filed under: Set Goals | 11 Comments » | Print This Post

Are you ready to take the plunge?

Get off your arse.

That’s it. Probably not what you wanted to read but it’s the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

You may spell it ass, you may call it your butt, bum, backside, bottom or booty, but whatever you call it, if you want to succeed you’ve got to get off it.

The secret to success in life is as simple as that, whether your main focus is career, love, family, finances or the simple pursuit of happiness.

Just get off your arse. Put in an effort and you’ll reap the rewards.

The lies people sell

There are a few books that claim to hold secret information on how to get what you want out of life. The ’secret’ idea seems to be that if you think about something it will come true.

It’s easy to see the appeal of this new age philosophy called ‘the law of attraction’, and clear why books about such ’secrets’ are bestsellers. After all, wouldn’t it be great if we could just mediate daily, repeat our positive mantras and lo and behold they could come to pass?

Sadly, it’s not the case and the whole premise is flawed.

Two flaws in the law of attraction

1. Books about the power of attraction are a con. There’s no way that if someone sits around saying:

“I’m rich and successful,” that they’ll become rich and successful.

2. If you want to be rich and successful you’ve got to work at it. You’ll need to set up a business, work hard, make mistakes, persevere, save hard and spend your money wisely to begin with.

But on the other hand…

Even though I spurn the law of attraction I agree that negative thinking will harm you. If we allow ourselves to believe the little voices in our heads that say:

“You’re plain and boring. You’ll never amount to anything.”

Then we won’t get anywhere in life.

So there is something to be said for harnessing positive thinking to reprogram our brains and our way of thinking.

For example, if you want to give up smoking or you want to get fit I do think it helps to adopt a positive mantra such as, “I value my health and enjoy living a fit and healthy, ” and read, repeat or think about it often.

It pays to be positive

I think optimists get more out of life because if you were a pessimist well, why would you even bother…

So positive thinking can drown out those pesky negative voices but hard work, passion and perseverance are irreplaceable.

What are you waiting for?

Most people just accept their lot in life. They take what they’re given and put up with it, working for years in a job they don’t particularly like and self-medicating themselves for their boredom and despondency with things like television, food, alcohol or even more work.

So often in the past when I told friends and family I was off to Africa, South East Asia, Australasia, Central America or wherever it was that year, people would sigh and say:

“You’re so lucky, I’d do that too it only I weren’t so…”

The excuses are varied. Some people say they’re too old, others claim they’re too young. Some people are too poor and some too career and money driven. But really they’re all just the same thing. Excuses.

Not that old excuse again

No more excuses, please. To get what you want in life you need:

• Passion
• Desire
• Dreams
• Achievable goals
• Optimism
• Energy
• Inspiration
• Perseverance
• Bravado
• Faith

Have faith

You can do all the things you want to do.

You choose your life, you’re in control of it, you decide if you want to sail around the world, start your own business, spend more time with your kids or laugh more. Whatever it is you can do it.

You just need to decide what you want, get started with it and keep going.

Get out of your comfort zone

Here are a few truths some people try to hide about being successful and happy. There are no secrets. Go into it with your eyes open knowing that:

1. It will be an effort.

2. It will challenge your status quo.

3. It will be risky.

But even when you know and accept all that you’ve got to stop listening to negative voices – either your own inner beliefs or real comments from other people – saying you can’t do it or you shouldn’t do it because of one reason or another.

Then stop settling for life as it is and start getting angry with yourself for time you’ve wasted so far. Promise yourself it won’t happen again.

Success starts when you get in the hot spot

Just get off your arse and get going.

I am.

If you think I’m not, or catch me slacking, feel free to give me a kick up the arse. We all need someone to do that for us from time to time. And if my writing helps you get inspired, motivated and going then I’m ready to put the boot in on your behalf any time.

What can I do to help you? What would you like to read more about? Just leave a comment or question below. I promise to reply to all of you.

Don’t Delay Subscribe Today

Most new readers spend a minute subscribing to Get In the Hot Spot because it’s a brilliant way to stay motivated and inspired plus it’s totally free.

Don’t miss out. Subscribe now by email or to choose the RSS Feed for updates in your feed reader.

Thanks for Reading

A warm welcome to all my new subscribers and welcome back to the old faithfuls – it’s great to connect with you. Many thanks also to Jeroen Bennick for use of the photo.

Please Support Me: Tell People About Get In the Hot Spot

If you like this article, please Tweet it or email a friend with the link. My clever computer boffin has added a little tool to make it easier for you to email it to friends, or add it to your favorite social media website. I hear that if you Digg it, or bookmark it on Delicious or Stumbleupon, that will get more readers here.

Many thanks for your help, I appreciate it.

Other Self Development Articles

>> 5 Instructions For Better Writing and Life

>> 10 Things To Be Grateful For and Why You Should Be

>> 101 Ways To Feel Happier

>> 5 Ways To Prevent Depression

>> 10 Ways To Get The Life You Want

>> 3 Keys To Living Our Dreams

 

Filed under: Self Help & Self Development | 17 Comments » | Print This Post

Surprise! A visit from my old friend, Fiona.

Don’t you hate those phone messages you get with the plinky plinky music that say you’re on hold but your call is very important and you’ll be connected shortly?

Shortly! What does that mean? Is it even a word?

Sometimes the wait is 10 seconds which is fine. Other times it’s 10 minutes which is not fine and can be infuriating.

Either way sometimes not knowing how long the wait will be is the hardest part.

If you’re expecting something, or want something to happen, human nature wants to know when you can expect it.

But sometimes something you want to happen occurs when you least expect it.

That’s what happened to me last week.

Surprise Visit

My best friend, Fiona, from England came to Australia and paid me a surprise visit.

We’ve known each other for 23 years, since we were 19, but haven’t seen each other for about 4 years, then suddenly, out of the blue, she was here with me. It was so exciting, unexpected and delightful that I simply didn’t manage to write my post in time.

When life surprises you in the most delightful way like that you need to be flexible and go with the flow.

Sorry Sorry Sorry

So this is my round about way of saying sorry I missed a blog post last week.

Most of you know that I live in Australia with my husband and three kids but I think I forgot to mention that the wee ones are currently on school vacation for six weeks.

Yes, school ended well before Christmas and doesn’t start again until the end of January here. Hence I’m busier than usual and, combined with visits from overseas relatives, I’m struggling to keep up with this blog.

New Blog Schedule

So I’ll be reducing my posts to once a week for the mean time. Tuesdays will be the big day.

Blog Developments

Some things about this blog are clear:

• I love writing it, sharing ideas with my readers and hearing your thoughts.
• I’m committed to writing it and looking forward to achieving my goal of 1000 subscribers soon.
• I’m committed to helping my readers and providing weekly inspiration and advice to keep them fired up and striving for a life less ordinary.

But there are a few problems with my blog. In order to keep it going I need to make money out of it.

Will I earn money from this blog this year?

Most of us need money to live on and I’m no different. I need to be compensated for my time, ideas and writing on this blog. I’d do it for the love of it if money was growing on the trees in our garden, but it’s not and my husband feels strongly that I should be making money from blogging or not do it.

But I feel so guilty even thinking about making money from it, let alone telling you this.

In blog speak they call it “monetizing” your blog. It sounds so mercenary and horrid but it needs to be done if Get In the Hot Spot  is to survive and my dream of earning a good living from my writing it to succeed.

And if so how?

The trouble is that I’m not sure how I’ll be able to make money from my blog.

The best option seems to be from selling products.

So I need to put on my thinking cap and come up with something that you will want to buy and that will be useful to you. I think it should be inspiring and entertaining too.

The dilemma is that I’m basically not a materialistic person. And I don’t think you are either. Selling people things they don’t need or want is not something I will do but if I can sell you something that you want then we can be mutually satisfied.

Possibilities for things you might like to buy from me are:

• Books (or ebooks I suppose)
• Handy inspirational memos
• Posters
• T-shirts

Other options are to sell my services:

• Web design services
• Web copywriting services

Or I could request donations.

Maybe a combination of these things will be needed but I want to keep the blog simple, useful, valuable and, above all, maintain my integrity.

I have a lot to think about. I’d love to know what you think about my dilemma.

So thanks for holding and for bearing with me. I promise we’ll get connected again next week.

I’m looking forward to it.

Thanks for reading. Have you subscribed yet?

Most new readers spend a minute subscribing to Get In the Hot Spot because it’s a brilliant way to stay motivated and inspired plus it’s totally free.

Don’t miss out. Subscribe now by email or to choose the RSS Feed for updates in your feed reader.

More Articles On Blogging or Writing

>> 5 Instructions for Better Writing and Living

>> Get In the Hot Spot Getting Hotter

>> What Everyone Ought To Know About Coping With Life

>> Getting More Blog Readers: Accountability

>> Blogging Away With Growing Success

>> Why I’ll Always Back Up My Work From Now On

 

Filed under: Writing | 16 Comments » | Print This Post

There’s a lot of pressure in life.

Too much really. Just working and earning enough money to support yourself and your family is hard, but now we keep hearing that we also need to:

• Find our true purpose.
• Follow our passion.
• Meet the one true love of our life.
• Live happily ever after.

So much pressure and such high stakes. It’s almost enough to make you give up because it all seems like such a hard mission.

Are we being sold an impossible dream?

One highly popular self development expert believes that you can discover your life purpose in 20 minutes by asking yourself,

“What’s my true purpose in life?”

Then writing down every answer that pops into your head until one of them makes you cry.

This strikes me as utter twaddle but I can see the appeal ~ first that we can discover what our life’s purpose in just 20 minutes and second that we have a purpose in life at all.

Is there a purpose to life?

If we stick to the facts of life our one true purpose is to procreate – to breed and have children so that our race is perpetuated.

In fact, this is just what people used to do.

At one stage life was about survival, and if you lived long enough to have children and see them grow old enough to create your grandchildren, then you were lucky.

These days we want more out of life. Now we want to:

• Live well into old age;
• Look young and beautiful until we drop;
• Travel the world;
• Be financially wealthy;
• Accumulate material possessions.

Although most of us still want children some people have rebelled and opted for a canine or feline offspring instead.

Oh, and we also want to know what our purpose in life is and follow our passion.

It’s not enough to be steadily employed in a job which pays the bills and allows you to save up for a decent retirement. Now we have to have life totally sorted out too.

Proof the stakes are too high

Unfortunately, while some tiny percentage of people are able to pursue their passions and earn a small fortune from them not everyone can.

Many people are happy to take a mundane job and pursue their passions in their spare time. And what’s wrong with that anyway? Not everyone can be extraordinary, not everyone can be famous for doing what they love, not everyone can get rich from it.

Take the ladies who run the tuck shop at my kid’s school as an example.

They work hard, they love what they do, and they’re good at it too, with profits rising every year which benefits the school and improves the kid’s education.

But the tuck shop ladies are never going to receive the global acclaim and wealth of celebrity chefs like Gordon Ramsay, even though they probably make better role models for our children.

Don’t believe some of the things you hear

I think the quest to find your passion, then follow it and hook up with your one true love are myths which are making a lot of people unhappy.

In order to find happiness – which I believe to be the true purpose of life – you’ll have to make a few changes to your thinking and accept that some of the things we’ve been led to believe might actually be making you unhappy.

It’s liberating to consider that:

1. You probably don’t have one true life purpose or passion
   You may have several goals, dreams and desires but these will change and evolve over time. Your childhood dreams may still coincide with what you want in your adult life – a few kids must have dreamed of becoming a train driver or ballerina and got there in the end. But generally, once you’re living that dream the initial thrill wears off and you still have to find something else to motivate you to get out of bed and get to the train station on time for the first run of the day.
2. You probably don’t have one true love
   There are certainly many people who could make a good partner for you in life. They’re everywhere and they may not be a romantic connection either. Maybe a group of friends with similar values and goals is enough and if you have that you have every reason to be happy.
3. There’s no such thing as happily ever after
   Life isn’t a fairy tale. There’s no such thing as fairy godmothers and handsome princes to whisk you away. Life will have good bits but there will be bad bits too – loved ones dying, relationships breaking down, jobs being lost, financial and health problems. Working out how to protect yourself from these bad times when they inevitably come is the key.

So What Should You Do With Your Life If You Don’t Know What To Do?

If you feel like it you could do some of the exercises I suggest in How to work out what your dream is.

Otherwise don’t push it at the moment, give yourself permission to enjoy what you’re doing right now. Forget about your unique purpose, life passion, one true love and living happily ever after.

Just live the way you are right now and try your best to be happy. No pressure.

Thanks for reading. Have you subscribed yet?

Most new readers spend a minute subscribing to Get In the Hot Spot because it’s a brilliant way to stay motivated and inspired plus it’s totally free.

Don’t miss out. Subscribe now by email or to choose the RSS Feed for updates in your feed reader.

More Articles On Dreams

>> 3 Keys To Living Our Dreams

>> 5 Secrets For Avoiding An Average Life

>> Live Your Dream In A Material World

Photo credit: Marco Belluci

 

Filed under: What's Your Dream? | 15 Comments » | Print This Post

Change won't happen by magic

How are you getting on with your new year’s resolution?

Apparently a lot of people make a new year resolution but most of them give up on the 2nd or 3rd of January. It’s sad thinking about all those people who want to make changes in their life, or say they want to, but don’t suceed.

I hope you haven’t already experienced this disappointment yourself in 2010, but most of all I hope that, if you have, you’re not beating yourself up about it. All the research seems to indicate that, when it comes to new year’s resolutions, this type of failure is perfectly normal so it’s certainly nothing be ashamed of.

Unfortunately, even the very concept of making a new year’s resolution seems to be an exercise in setting yourself up for failure.

3 thoughts about making change

At the end of 2009 I wrote an article for Lifehack called 7 Steps For Making a New Year’s Resolution and Keeping It. If you haven’t read it yet and you’re interested in changing your habits or making new habits then do check it out.

The main points I want to get across about new year’s resolutions are:

1. The new year is probably not the best time to start new habits or change old ones.

2. If you do make a new year’s resolution you probably won’t be able to stick to it.

3. Just because you slip up doesn’t mean you have to give up entirely ~ the key to succeeding at making change is to persevere and keep trying. For proof of this read about the concept of ‘grit’ in 10 Ways To Get the Life You Want.

Change doesn’t happen overnight

There’s no way you can go to bed one night, be it December 31st or not, and wake up to a new you the next day.

Making changes in your life takes repeated effort over a sustained period of time.

When it comes down to it the three key questions you should ask yourself before making changes to your habits are:

1. Do you really want to change?

2. Do you believe the changes you want to make are possible and realistic?

3. Are you ready to put in the necessary work to make the changes happen and make them last?

Change won’t happen by magic

If you answered yes to those three questions then keep on striving to make the changes you want.

Do you remember that old trick where a magician pulls a rabbit out of his hat? Take a moment to consider how much practice the magician put into it before he or she managed to pull off the trick successfully.

If you want to change your habits or even change your life that will take practice too.

Brace yourself for blips along the way and expect that your decision to make life changes will be the beginning of a journey where you make two steps forward and one step back.

The important thing is to take the first step and keep going no matter what.

Oh, and if you’re one of the people who made a new year’s resolution and have been keeping it well done. Give yourself a pat on the back and keep up the good work!

Did you make a new year’s resolution? Are you still on track with it?

Thanks for reading. Have you subscribed yet?

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More Articles On Motivation

>> Self-Motivation and Co-Motivation

>> Maintain Motivation: Celebrate Your Successes

>> How To Use Twitter As A Motivational Tool

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Roald Dahl - writer, adventurer, anti-aging hero

“Watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.” Roald Dahl

We live in a world that worships youth not wisdom. People with attractive faces, high breasts (for females!) and dewy skin are favoured over those with wrinkles, drooping appendages and sagging jowls.

Traditionally “ladies” aren’t supposed to reveal their age. Especially when they’re getting on a bit.

Will you view me differently if I tell you I’m the wrong side of 40 with crow’s feet (ooops, I mean laughter lines) and what my daughter calls a “dimpled” bottom? Will you write me off as a “has been” who’s out of touch with modern life?

I’m pretty sure you won’t ~ what we’re creating here is a community of genuine and deep-thinking individuals who judge people on their values and knowledge, not their looks.

Even though I’m vintage 1968, I think I’ve got a fairly youthful attitude and I think that’s because I’m naturally curious and eager to try new things.

I also made a decision a few years ago not to let the fear of embarassment, failure or ridicule stop me from doing things I want to do. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

I don’t think this attitude gives me a licence to be tragically youthful. For example, there’s a line you have to draw when choosing clothes at my age; the micro-mini skirts and midriff tops I sported in my twenties aren’t being aired much (or ever) these days. Certainly not in public anyway. But with this new attitude I learned to surf at 40 and I actually play at the playground with my kids or on the inflatable obstacle course at the public swimming pool. It’s fun and helps keep me fit too.

So What Is the Secret of Eternal Youth?

Forget expensive wrinkle-bustingface creams and life-endangering plastic surgery.

The secret of staying young is about:

1. Maintaining a youthful attitude;

2. Being curious;

3. Trying new things at any age.

Make sure you don’t get stuck in a routine as you get older or pigeon hole yourself as a certain type of person. When you try new things you’ll be surprised to find that activities you weren’t expecting to enjoy are actually fun.

Roald Dahl’s Secret

I’ve written before about how much I love Roald Dahl and his books. His childrens’ classics such as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Fantastic Mr. Fox, as well as his adult short stories like Tales of the Unexpected are sheer creative genius.

When you read Dahls’ autobiographies, Boy and Going Solo, you start to appreciate his playful mind. Dahl’s outlook on life stayed enquiring and youthful into his old age. He tapped into childlike thinking, mischief, playfulness and pleasures, and carried on writing great books even when he was in his seventies.

Dahl died at the ripe old age of 74, despite his naughty smoking habit, and I love the quote which was inscribed on a rock in his garden. I know it’s at the top of this article but it’s worth rereading:

“Watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.”

I’m vowing to:

• always watch the world with glittering eyes;
• keep trying to unearth great secrets in unlikely places;
• believe in the possiblity of magic no matter how old and jaded I get.

If anything can keep us staying forever young this will. At least until we keel over from old age after living a life in which we left no stone unturned.

Have you got any tips for staying youthful?

Thanks for reading GetIntheHotSpot.com

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Other Inspirational Stories

>> 10 Things To Be Grateful For and Why You Should Be

>> 101 Ways To Feel Happier

>> 5 Ways To Prevent Depression

>> 10 Ways To Get The Life You Want

>> 3 keys To Living Our Dreams

 

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Did you watch these 6 inspiring dance videos? I wrote about them last year because they really fired me up.

Those dance videos all show the power of three things I hope to embrace more in 2010 :

• Energy
• Being part of a like-minded, dynamic team
• Having fun

They also remind me of Ashley and her blog Dancing Through Life. I hope we can all embrace this philosophy and dance our way through 2010.

Life’s A Dance

In the year ahead there will be slow dances, fast dances and some random shuffling on the spot too.

There will be moments when we trip over our own toes and times when the music transports us to a higher place.

But with practice we should all get better at dancing to our own rhythm, and at dancing our own unique dance without caring what anyone else thinks.

Ringing In 2010

Thanks for hanging our here at Get In the Hot Spot. I look forward to sharing my adventures with you and to helping you get closer to living your hopes, dreams and goals in 2010.

Let’s Dance

Here’s another inspiring dance video to kick start your year. It’s worth the 4 minutes it takes to watch ~ it’ll leave you feeling pumped up, inspired and happy.

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Please Support Me: Tell People About Get In the Hot Spot

If you like this article, please Tweet it or email a friend with the link. My clever computer boffin has added a little tool to make it easier for you to email it to friends, or add it to your favorite social media website. I hear that if you Digg it, or bookmark it on Delicious or Stumbleupon, that will get more readers here.

Many thanks for your help, I appreciate it.

Other Inspirational Stories

>> A Surfer’s Guide to Living Life to the Full

>> 10 Things To Be Grateful For and Why You Should Be

>> 101 Ways To Feel Happier

>> 5 Ways To Prevent Depression

>> 10 Ways To Get The Life You Want

>> 3 keys To Living Our Dreams

 

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It's been a good year

After about nine months of writing there are now over 100 articles here. I’m not going to list every single one, just the favourites. Hopefully this round up of the most popular articles will give new readers a chance to see what I write about and old readers a chance to catch up with anything they’ve missed.

Many thanks to my lovely readers and to everyone who’s emailed me or left a comment. You’ve spurred me on to write better and more confidently. I appreciate it.

Self Development Articles and Tips

Give Fear The Finger and Live The Life You Want

Overcoming Fear: Turning Fearful Into Fierce

Liberate Yourself From Drudgery

The Poker Champion’s Guide To Winning In Life

My Black Out and Life’s Big Question

How To Work Out What Your Dream Is

A Surfer’s Guide To Living Life To The Full

How To Rise From The Ashes Like A Phoenix

11 Inspiring Numbered Lists

33 Things Life’s Too Short For

5 Quick Ways To Volunteer and Feel Happier

5 Secrets For Avoiding an Average Life

10 Ways To Shake Up Your Life and Feel Energised

7 Good reasons To Go For a Walk

101 Ways To Feel Happy

3 Keys To Living Your Dream

10 Things To Be Grateful For and Why You Should Be

5 Ways To Prevent Depression

10 Ways To Get The Life You Want

8 Secrets of Mountain Climbing and Life

Funny Articles Which Poke Fun at People (Usually Me)

Heard the joke about Kiwis and sheep?

Funny Family Portraits

Daylight Robbery, Little Cove, Noosa

Why I’ll Always Back Up My Work From Now On

Search Engine Terms For Blogging

Puberty Bites: Talking About Puberty With Kids

How To Listen To Kids

Fuddy Duddy Mummy Exposed

Funny Search Engine Terms

Articles With a Personal Angle About Me and the Candy Family

Remember Learning To Ride Your Bike?

Get In The Hot Spot – How it got started and why

Get In The Hot Spot – How it got started and why

Live Your Dream In a Material World

What Can You Give Up To Live Your Dream?

Follow Your Dream, You Only Live Once – A family moving from New Zealand to Central America

Who Else Wants To Meet More People?

What Everyone Ought To Know About Coping With Life

Articles on Blogging

Funny Search Engine Terms

Getting More Blog Readers: Accountability

Blogging Away With Growing Success

Articles on Travel or Living in Australia

The Problem With Aussie Birds

Why Do People Love To Travel?

Why Do So Many People Move To, Or Want To Move To, Australia?

Sunshine Coast Tourist Guide – Family Fun

Sunshine Coast Tourist Guide – Australia Zoo

A Winter’s Weekend In Noosa, Sunshine Coast, Queensland

Racism in Australia – is Australia a racist country?

Best and Worst Things About Living In Australia

Traveling Close To Home: Coolum Campsite, Sunshine Coast

Books, Reading and Writing Articles

5 Instructions for Better Writing and Living

How Not To Deal With Rejection

Reading List – I’m constantly updating this with the best books for writers, travelers and the best reading fiction

Inspirational Interview With Travel Writer, Peter Moore

Geeky Articles

If I Were a Geek Just For a Day

How To Use Twitter as a Motivational Tool

Idiosyncracies

6 Inspiring Dance Videos To Rock Your World

Climate Change: Don’t Just Sit There, Do Something

Guest Posts

On Zen Habits – Low-Stress Ways To Move House and Declutter Your Life

On Problogger – Getting Over the Blogger’s 6 Month Itch

On Lifehack – How to Have a Chilled Out Holiday Season and 7 Steps For Making a New Year’s Resolution and Keeping It

Interviews With Me

2inspired

Human Explosion

Thanks for reading. Have You Subscribed Yet? It’s Free…

I’ve got over 400 subscribers now but I’d love more – my dream is to have 1000 visitors a day to Get In The Hot Spot a day. Can you help by joining us? Get free updates by email now or with the RSS Feed, if you haven’t already. That way, you won’t miss out.

Another way to support my writing is to tell people about this website, mention it on Facebook, Twitter, or email a friend the link to a specific article.

Thank you! I can’t offer you any incentives, free gifts or prize giveaways but I do promise to keep writing quality articles that I hope will inspire, encourage and inform us all on how we can get closer to living our dream life.
Photo credit: Wonderlane

 

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Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Today I want to say happy holidays to all my readers and a huge thank you for visiting Get In the Hot Spot and hanging out with me here.

Lately I’ve realised I was crazy to write about personal development ~ it’s a flooded subject and highly competitive too. But looking back I didn’t choose personal development, it seemed to choose me.

My Dream

Get In the Hot Spot grew organically and I hope to differentiate myself from other personal development bloggers by being ‘the dream woman’. The person who not only encourages and shows people how to live their dream but also walks the walk and dares to be different. Most of all I want to write articles that are concise, real and useful.

My Suppport Network

Since I started blogging I’ve had brilliant support from friends and relatives and I’ve also enjoyed encouragement, comments, empathy and feedback from many other bloggers.

They’re an amazing bunch of people in far flung corners of the world. Many of them write personal development or lifestyle design blogs themselves, while others shudder at the very thought of personal development and have carved out more tangible niches for themselves in business or blog instruction.

To acknowledge their place in my blogging world and to introduce them to my readers and each other I’ve created an awards list. There’s a big wide world of blogs out here but I think there’s room for all of us.

Thank you

Thanks again to all my dear readers, faithful friends and fellow bloggers.  And good luck with all your plans in 2010.

GITHS 2009 Blogging Awards Results

Most Accessible Blogging Star

Darren at Problogger

Most Radical Blogging Star

Leo at Zen Habits

Most Dedicated

Seth at Blogussion

Most Domesticated Goddess

Connie at Daytona Food Examiner

Sweetest

Fida at Unusual Travel Destinations

Healthiest

Fiona  at Writ Large

Most Hard Working

Nicholas at Site Sketch 101

Most Graphic

Stephen at Human Explosion

Most Paradoxical

Lisis at Quest for Balance

Most Positive

Lori at Jane Be Nimble

Most Off the Wall

Gordie at Lifestyle Design For You

Most Gung Ho

Karol at Ridiculously Extraordinary

Cleverest

Robin at Radsmarts

Sexiest

Kelly at Cleavage

Most Honest

Dani at Positively Present

Most Zen

Walter at Lion Slinger

Most Touching

Oscar at Freestyle Mind

Zaniest

Cheryl at That Girl is Funny

Most Controversial

Hishaman at My Thinking Life

Most Passionate

JD Meier at Sources of Insight

Most Unique

Hilary at Positive Letters

Sunniest

Dayne at The Happy Self

Most Mysterious

Eric at Eden Journal

Strongest

Josh Hanagarne at World’s Strongest Librarian

Most Enthusiastic

Randall at Travel Ph

Most Generous

Brandi at 2inspired

Most Outrageous Speller

Srinivas Rao at Skool of Life

Most Qualified

Alex at Someday Syndrome

Oh dear, I’m sure there are some lovely people I’ve forgotten to mention. Please forgive me and leave a comment.

Is there anyone in your life who deserves an award?

Thanks for reading and happy holidays everyone

Have You Subscribed Yet? It’s Free…

I’ve got over 400 subscribers now but I’d love more – my dream is to have 1000 visitors a day to Get In The Hot Spot a day. Can you help by joining us? Get free updates by email now or with the RSS Feed, if you haven’t already. That way, you won’t miss out.

Another way to support my writing is to tell people about this website, mention it on Facebook, Twitter, or email a friend the link to a specific article.

Thank you! I can’t offer you any incentives, free gifts or prize giveaways but I do promise to keep writing quality articles that I hope will inspire, encourage and inform us all on how we can get closer to living our dream life.

7 Numbered Lists Worth Checking Out

7 Good reasons To Go For a Walk

101 Ways To Feel Happy

3 Keys To Living Your Dream

10 Things To Be Grateful For and Why You Should Be

5 Ways To Prevent Depression

10 Ways To Get The Life You Want

8 Secrets of Mountain Climbing and Life

Photo credit: Pink Sherbet

 

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