52 Exercises: #24 Sexual Healing at Aqua Aerobics

52 Exercises: Sexual Healing at Aqua Aerobics

I’m an emotional person. That’s my greatest lesson from my mindfulness program. I’ve stopped taking the antidepressants after just two months. It’s not what the doctors advise but it seemed like the right thing for me to do because they didn’t seem to be working that well.

Or rather the antidepressants did work, but only as long as I kept busy with work or the family. As soon as I stopped to think or talk about myself I still felt incurably sad.

I’ve been crying a lot, sometimes on and off for days but don’t worry. That’s a good thing because it turns out that years of suppressing my emotions is probably what made me depressed.

Lately I’ve been working less and generally focusing on being selfish. Motivation to do more and do things better has slumped and I’ve been taking it easy with the 52 Exercises quest because I’m taking it easy on myself. I guess that’s a good thing if only I could get over the guilt.

Then suddenly a glimmer of motivation and energy came back to me. For the first time in a few weeks I wanted to do something different, something new, something exciting I’d never tried before. Aqua aerobics was an easy choice because the public pool is a few minutes from my home and it’s on every day.

So here I am at the pool totally immersed in the warm water with 24 other women and one man who’s probably having the time of his life. Our average age is around 65 although I’ve probably lowered that considerably. At 45 years old I am a mere baby compared to most of the others.

Another good thing about aqua aerobics is that if I cry no one will notice but, as the music cranks up and the class gets started, my main emotion is not sadness but boredom. The music is terrible, the instructor lackluster and the grey heads bobbing up and down are completely out of rhythm to the music.

Not that I’m doing any better. It turns out that aqua aerobics isn’t a soft option, it’s actually hard work to pump your legs around under water and impossible to keep to the beat.

But then the old eighties favourite Relax! By Frankie Goes to Hollywood comes on and I can’t stop myself from sniggering aloud.  Hearing the hardcore leather clad gay band sing:

“Relax, don’t do it, when you want to go to it,
Relax, don’t do it, when you want to come.
Relax, don’t do it, when you want to suck to it,
Relax, don’t do it, when you want to come.”

just seems so wrong in this setting.

But no one else seems to have a problem with the filthy music and, as the song changes to a cover version of Jump for your Love by Van Halen, we grab our noodles, wedge them between our legs, hold on tight and rock to and fro as instructed.

There’s an unexpected tingling between my legs which feels good. Really good. I slow down and look round guilty. Is it just me or is this why aqua aerobics is so popular with older women?

But there’s no time to ponder the sensual nature of aqua aerobics. Now we have to jump around in a circle, doing six jumps to the front, six to the right and so on until we come full circle.

As we turn to the back of the pool for six jumps a man comes into view. A muscly man with tattoos and red Speedos.

He’s in deep conversation with the swim coach, oblivious to anyone else. I watch them talk, I watch as he turns and walks away. I notice it says lifeguard on his bottom but before I have a chance to feign drowning he is gone.

I suddenly notice the instructor talking and jump round to the side and finally back to the front. She’s laughing and saying how everyone was doing a lot of jumps facing the back and I realize it wasn’t just me, the entire class was watching the man in the red trunks. These women are advanced in years and enjoying advanced adventures with their own imaginations right here in the public pool. What felt so wrong suddenly seems so right.

Here we are. 25 people jumping around in the pool. Jumping together, but each engrossed in her or his own feelings of boredom, energy and even lust, each feeling the water on her skin, the brightness of the sky on her face and feeling alive. Each hearing the songs as if sung just for them, each experiencing the moment as though they are alone even though we are here together.

Each of us connected individually at one with this moment, this water, this world. We may all be born alone and destined to die alone but today we were alone together. This morning the world put on a show for us and we were fully part of it.

The noodle is back on the edge of the pool now, the music has stopped and the man in the red trunks long gone. But he was there, we were there and emotions were running high at aqua aerobics.

Gratuitous image of men in swimwear

Gratuitous image of men in swimwear – you’re welcome!

It’s hard to think of a question here but please do tell: Do you prefer men in Speedos or board shorts?


Aqua Aerobics Exercise Review

Cost: $13 at the Noosa Aquatic Center.

Time Exercising: 60 minutes.

Average Heart Rate: No idea, couldn’t wear my heart rate monitor under water but a fair jig around.

Fun Factor: 6/10 – More men in Speedoes would make it more fun.

Fear Factor: 3/10 – It’s winter here so I was mildly worried the water would be cold but it wasn’t.

Post-exercise Glow: 8/10. Mmmm.


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  1. It’s got to be boardies, Annabel, much sexier. Oh I do love living in Australia where one can enjoy seeing spunky men in cossies for many months of the year… an old duck can have a wee look if she’s discreet surely. Actually these days I quite fancy some older fellas as well as the young and luscious.

    • Annabel Candy June 15, 2013 at 8:04 am - Reply

      Hi Seana,

      Lol, funnyy how things change! Noosa is great when the surf’s up ;)

  2. Steve June 15, 2013 at 7:47 am - Reply

    Gee you make me want to join a water aerobics class! I don’t much care what guys wear.To be quite honest, I prefer to skinny dip. I guess that wouldn’t be appropriate at the class. :)

    • Annabel Candy June 15, 2013 at 8:06 am - Reply

      Hi Steve,

      Hahs,, no I think you have to wear something for this class but maybe nude aqua aerobics is a new exercise you could get started :)

  3. Barbara June 15, 2013 at 11:36 pm - Reply

    Well, you made me laugh out loud with this one! I hope you’re doing the right thing, dumping your meds so quickly. If you don’t like them or the doctor who prescribed them, maybe you should find another doctor? Just a thought.
    Stay well!

  4. Aisha from Expatlog June 16, 2013 at 2:13 am - Reply

    Mahoosive hugs to you Annabel – by writing about your experiences you lift the loneliness of suffering for many who read your posts, and I hope understanding that goes some way to alleviating your suffering. Sometimes I think we just perceive these difficult feeling wrongly and that causes half the trouble – why should it always be a negative thing to cry or to feel sadness? Why is it not more acceptable just to feel it without judging?
    Your post shone with authentic intimacy, as ever. I always feel like you’re sitting across a table from me, leaning forward with a gleam in your eye, preparing to divulge something you KNOW will raise a giggle.
    Keep ’em coming!
    P.S. I too am learning to be “selfish” if that’s the term we must apply to listening to our own needs. And you’re right – pools are great places to have a surreptitious cry…

  5. Kama June 16, 2013 at 6:36 am - Reply

    I love this honest post. At the end of the day we are all human aren’t we. As for your questionI would have to say board shorts :)

  6. Natalie Hennessey June 18, 2013 at 2:26 pm - Reply

    You know what every floats your boat. We can all do with a little stimulation and excitement each day. It is what makes our lives delicious.

  7. Leonie June 18, 2013 at 9:12 pm - Reply

    Wow, great post Annabel. Brave, naked honesty is so refreshing. But I don’t think I’ll ever be able to touch another noodle at a public pool again!! …I prefer boardies… Leaving something to the imagination ;)

  8. Amit pandey June 27, 2013 at 7:05 pm - Reply

    You know what ever floats your boat. We can all do with a little stimulation and excitement each day. It is what makes our lives delicious and excercise is necessary.

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