How to shape your destiny

Shape Your Destiny in 6 Powerful Steps

Guest post by Mars Dorian

Character is destiny. Your future is based on the decisions you make today, and the decisions you make are based on your character.

In order to lead a kick-ass life, you need a kick-ass character. Fact is you are kick-ass already, but you may have forgotten it. What happened?

Society, parents and friends all molded you the way they wanted you to be. You became a commodity: trying to please everyone, ending up pleasing no one.

It’s time to return the creative control to the true artist – YOU. Consider your life an artwork in progress, and make it an epic one. You are the only person you have to please.

How to shape your destiny in 6 powerful steps:

  1. Become delusional

    That word has such a negative flavor. It shouldn’t. Being delusional is the requirement for future greatness. You have to believe that you can recreate your character, no matter what. The whole world may declare war on you, but you don’t care. You are busy with your delusions about becoming great.

  2. Focus is everything

    The quality of your focus determines the quality of your life. If your focus is an uncontrolled beast that jumps from place to place, you will endure a chaotic life. Meh! Successful people have great focus, maybe that’s what makes them great. Promise yourself to focus only on the things you want to experience. If you want to be more funny and outgoing, then  focus excessively on these traits and ignore everything that compromises that vision. Focus. Focus. Focus.

  3. Take epic little steps

    Instead of changing everything at once (it never works), concentrate on taking only tiny steps and practice them like a Jedi everyday for at least three weeks. That’s it. Only thing at a time, and making it as epic as possible. And then you tackle the next one. And then the next. By the end of the year, you will have established at least 11 powerful character habits.

  4. Reward yourself

    I call that going into candy mode: for every great character habit you have established, you should reward yourself with something nice. That can be a dinner, a concert or a material product. Whatever makes you feel sunny in your tummy works wonders. Positive reward strengthens your habits, and “burns” them deeper into your brain.

  5. Create and increase momentum

    Changing your character seems impossible, especially in the beginning. But once you establish two habits within the first months, you ride the momentum wave. Everything becomes easier now, as long as you sustain the energy. Don’t take a break, do something for your development every single day, even if it’s just 10 minutes. M-O-M-E-N-T-U-M should be your daily mantra.

  6. Raise your standards

    Never be satisfied with your current status. Have a voracious appetite for more and more growth. Even if you come to a point where you obsessively love your character, keep raising the bar. Happiness only exists in forward motion. Make each year better than the last. The journey of your character recreation will end the day the grim reaper comes knocking on your door.

That’s it. Recreating your character may take a while, but who wants to miss the glory of shaping your destiny?

It’s your birthright. Happy creating.

Mars Dorian helps people spread their influence and build passionate online communities. If you want to build a strong digital presence, dive into his world at marsdorian.com or follow him on Twitter.

Thanks for sharing your passion with us Mars. It’s infectious. I’ll be carrying on with the Blog Writing Magic series on Thursday or Friday (depending on what time zone you’re in) so look forward to seeing you again then.

Thank you for reading and here’s to our continued success! Annabel

Photo credit: Niffty
Author: Annabel Candy

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{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }

Sharni August 31, 2010 at 12:20 pm

Hi Annabel – useful post as usual – although I have to say I am not sure about the last one, I think it is human nature to never be satisfied with where we are at – but chasing an elusive happiness is futile!! i think being satisfied with where we are at, should really be the ultimate goal! I guess ambition is the nemesis of the person who is satisfied with what they have now. I struggle a little with this notion as I am a very ambitious person but also try to feel completely satisfied with where I am at. chasing satisfaction all the time I guess is why mick Jagger said ” i can’t get no…..”

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Mars Dorian September 1, 2010 at 5:24 am

Hey Sharni,

Are you truly satisfied with the moment ? Don’t you think there’s always something that can be better ? I believe humans thrive on progress, and only when we are doing things mindfully will we enjoy that inner happiness or “flow” state.

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Sharni August 31, 2010 at 12:21 pm

Wow, I have the flu and am really off – just reread that and it is not very clear at all! Sorry – hope you get what I was trying to say (now to bed…)

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Annabel Candy August 31, 2010 at 12:29 pm

Hi Sharni, lol, yes it does make sense, thank you! You raised a good point and I love the balance in what you say: being satisfied and happy with where we’re at right now but also striving to improve. I think working towards achieving your goals does bring happiness in itself:)

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Ramblings of a Woman September 7, 2010 at 1:32 pm

Hi Annabel and Sharni,
I do get what you are saying. There is a fine line between ‘satisfied’ with the progress you’ve made and always ‘reaching for more. If you are always reaching you don’t necessarily take time to enjoy your success and pat yourelf on the back.
I actually just wrote a post about this very concept. You can read it here if you’d like! http://bernicewood.wordpress.com/2010/09/03/so-what-is-good-enough/
Great post Mars! Headed over to visit your site now!
Bernice

Michael August 31, 2010 at 12:21 pm

Hi Mars

These are indeed 6 poweful step to increase to shape ones destiny. I really like this line: “Have a voracious appetite for more and more growth” Exactly; one should never settle and always aim to go that one better.

Thanks for sharing this inspiring and value rich post.

Michael

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Annabel Candy August 31, 2010 at 1:10 pm

Hi Michael, I love his writing style and english is his second language too:)

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Andre August 31, 2010 at 2:53 pm

The foundation of character is your habits, the source of habits your actions, the source of actions your words and the source of words is your thoughts.
To change your destiny will mean a change of thought. Once you do that your destination changes as well.

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Sandra Lee August 31, 2010 at 4:29 pm

I completely love the energy of this post! It gives a lift-off in and of itself. The steps are practical and manageable, but the process very inspiring.

I just don’t get “become delusional” – which means to hold a false or mistaken belief! It seems you want to strive for the opposite.

Thanks – really loved this post.

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Arjan Salomons August 31, 2010 at 7:54 pm

Wow this is going straight to my printer, then I’ll put a frame around it and put it on my wall where I can see it, so it can remind me everyday about the cool person that I am :D

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Mars Dorian September 1, 2010 at 5:22 am

I hope you do that for real ;)

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Robin Dickinson August 31, 2010 at 8:24 pm

Thank you, Mars.

Is our goal to ‘recreate’ or ‘reveal’ our character? Surely your destiny is shaped to be powerful when the ‘real you’ steps out on to the stage of life. The ‘you’ that has so much potential. The ‘you’ that is honest, bold and courageous. The mighty ‘you’ that has always been there, but hidden from view or silenced by circumstances. The ‘you’ that was born for greatness if only given a chance.

Mars, I believe we are born with incredible potential and unique qualities and traits – character. Our character has already been created – and it’s truly incredible. Rather than recreate it, now is the time to unleash it, reveal it and embrace it.

Thank you for sharing your excellent thoughts.

Robin :)

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Mars Dorian September 1, 2010 at 5:21 am

Hey Robin,

that’s an interesting take – and I luv “unleashing” it.
The problem with me is that I forgot how I was in the early past, and that’s why I focus on my deepest desires and use them to “recreate” my personality !

(I personally hate the past – the future and the present is what matters to me)

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Robin Dickinson September 1, 2010 at 8:52 am

Thanks for responding, Mars. Not sure I understand your comment about the past?? My point is more – you are who you are – wonderful and unique – no need to recreate what’s already created. Living *your* truth in the present is all that really counts. The past and the future are illusions. To ‘hate the past’ doesn’t make sense to me, but I respect and honour your opinion.

Your response to life reveals rather than creates your character.

Best, Robin :)

Annabel Candy September 1, 2010 at 9:36 am

Love that quote Robin: “Living *your* truth in the present is all that really counts” Thank you. Getting some heated debate here!

Barbara August 31, 2010 at 10:39 pm

I agree with Sandra about delusional, but love the rest of the post. I can’t imagine reaching a point in your life that you would say… ‘ok, I’ve learned enough now, I’m satisfied.’ I suppose it happens, but it wouldn’t work for me. Learning and growing to the very end is my plan!
Thanks for the post!

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Annabel Candy September 1, 2010 at 9:37 pm

Hi Barbara, I’m with you on that, here’s to us lifelong learners:)

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Cori Padgett August 31, 2010 at 11:20 pm

I’m a big fan of embracing delusions! :) I think being delusional is a requirement if you’re trying to “level up” your life and change the circumstances you’re in today, to something better tomorrow. It’s not always an easy road, but focusing on it and acting as if you’re already there helps it become easier. :) Great post Mars! XoXo

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Mars Dorian September 1, 2010 at 5:18 am

Gey Cori,

delusions are the name of the game ;)
If you don’t level up, you might as well sit at home and play Wii all day !

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Will September 1, 2010 at 2:14 am

Great article. Sorry to be a bit grammar-conscious, but it’s “progress”, not “progess”.

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Mars Dorian September 1, 2010 at 5:26 am

snap !
Thanx, I’m not the grammar king. Still need to improve. Every single day !

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Annabel Candy September 1, 2010 at 9:39 am

Thanks Will, I fixed that typo:)

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Abhishek-seekersfind.com September 1, 2010 at 2:16 am

Hi
This is awesome info and something which I already focus in my day to day plan.

Thanks For Reminding Me :D
-Abhishek

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Kate September 1, 2010 at 2:26 am

I like that you say “become delusional.” I laughed. Pretty awesomely phrased.

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Marilia September 1, 2010 at 3:23 am

I like the “take epic little steps”. I would add that you can praise yourself for taking those small steps while you are taking them. Often we are progressing and can´t notice because we only see the big picture far ahead. So one good task (or aproach or realization) complete can be a reason to celebrate.

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Catherine White September 1, 2010 at 5:02 am

I really like the phrase ‘take epic little steps’, but delusional in the dictionary meaning of the word is ‘… typically a symptom of a mental disorder’

Nice read.

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Mars Dorian September 1, 2010 at 5:25 am

Hey Catherine,

yeah, but who cares about the dictionary ?

Aren’t all great peeps in the world “suffering” from some sort of mental disorder (in the milder sense).
I fell in love with that word, and it always reminds me of doing things a bit differently ;)

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Annabel Candy September 1, 2010 at 9:41 am

Hmmm, I think what Catherine means is the dictionary definition isn’t something we’d want to be! Hehe, hopefully we’re not deluded in believing in our unique gifts anyway:) Thank you Catherine for leaving a comment and raising that important issue:)

Farnoosh September 1, 2010 at 9:20 am

Hi Mars,
Hmmm. I don’t understand the “delusional” part – Delusional is adj form of delusion which is defined as a false belief or opinion: delusions of grandeur.
So I am really not sure how that helps with greatness.
And “who cares about the dictionary” = the standard definitions of words come from dictionary and from their etymology so for common understanding, we should always refer to the source.
Sorry bu Annabel has a tough crowd. I am sure you can handle it! Thank you!

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Farnoosh September 1, 2010 at 9:21 am

Apologies – misspelled “but” on the last line. Thanks!

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Annabel Candy September 1, 2010 at 9:44 am

Hi Farnoosh, well, love all the fiesty feedback on this one:) Thank you. I love it as a way of showcasing Mar’s passion but yes strictly speaking if they’re delusions of becoming great and we are already great (or getting there:) they’re not delusions at all!

somebody September 1, 2010 at 9:32 am

“It’s time to return the creative control to the true artist – YOU. Consider your life an artwork in progess, and make it an epic one. ” Great words to live by! So many people are afraid to pursue what they love because they want to please everybody except themselves.

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Annabel Candy September 1, 2010 at 9:52 am

Hi Somebody, do you know that line in a Dr. Seuss book:

“Somebody, somebody,who could it be?” I like that line. Anyway, thank you for visiting and leaving a comment.

You’ve really helped me out with this. I’m not used to all the heated discussion but I think the message for us in life should be if something doesn’t resonate with you let it go, but take the bits that do speak to you and run with them.

Good luck everyone!

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Varada September 1, 2010 at 1:34 pm

I like. As someone said (I think Robin Sharma in one of his books) that it takes continuous 21 days for human brain to accept one task as a “habit”. Imagine if we can do that we can improve in over 15 different ways within a year!!!

What a great way to start my day. I am gonna put it to practice starting now :)

Thanks for a great post!
~Varada

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Sandra Lee September 1, 2010 at 3:44 pm

Mars – “Aren’t all great peeps in the world “suffering” from some sort of mental disorder (in the milder sense).”

Not necessarily by any means! In fact, they may be “suffering” from the greatest sanity there ever was/is/ or will be. Like Dalai Lama, Gandhi, Mother Theresa. I would hardly call any of them suffering from a mental disorder although they may not be “perfect.”

Sorry if it seems like I am getting on your case about words, but I truly do not understand what you mean by ‘delusional’ and am just trying to get the sense you are meaning to impart – sounds like you mean being a bit wild and crazy, breaking rules, being unconventional, believing you can do great and exceptional things (which some people might think is delusional.)

Totally love the energy of the article!

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Annabel Candy September 1, 2010 at 9:40 pm

Hi Sandra, yes, that was my interpretation of it: “believing you can do great and exceptional things”! Mars is German and doing a fab job with english as his second language:)

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Mars Dorian September 3, 2010 at 2:39 am

Hey Sandra,

yeah – I don’t mean delusional in the sense of suffering from a mental disorder !
I mean delusional in terms of having really high standards, and ignoring the limits that everyone around slams on you.
I’m not the only who uses it – Will Smith said in one of his kick-ass interviews that all successful people started out being “delusional” – seeing a future that others couldn’t see and then just acting on their imagination !

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Limantina Sihaloho September 1, 2010 at 6:14 pm

Mars Dorian and Annabel Candy,

Thanks a lot; I just need this post now to keep me awake with my spirit.

I do need to focus.

Again, thanks a lot!

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Sarah September 1, 2010 at 9:59 pm

I love this post! It’s so inspirational and a great way to start my day! Thanks so much for posting this! :-)

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Steve Thomas September 1, 2010 at 10:39 pm

This is a great post! I love the part about being delusional! So many want to fit into some sort of mold and all that does is make you moldy! Being delusional gives you dreams to live!

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Annette September 1, 2010 at 11:33 pm

Wow! Annabel I really needed this today. This is the third time in two weeks I have heard the phrase “Raise your standards”. It is making an impact on me and is helping me to get motivated and move in a forward direction.
Thanks for your positive words.
Annette

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delta waters September 2, 2010 at 1:03 am

as an english major i say: spirit of the law not the letter of the law! i *get* what mars is saying…long live delusions! we are so beset with reality that we forget to dream..mars, i fully expect to have 11 great delusions of grandeur come true for me in a year’s time…not 10 nor 12…. :o) be outrageous!

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Mars Dorian September 3, 2010 at 2:34 am

Hey Delta,
Is that your real name ? Really cool, I luv it !

And awesome that you get the spirit – obviously I’m not talking about mental instability but about raising your standards.
Easy to say, hard to implement – I know.
But in epic tiny steps, everything becomes possible !

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Red Nomad OZ September 2, 2010 at 9:24 pm

Thanx so much to Mars for a positive and practical post (how’s that for alliteration?!?!) and to Annabel for a blog that inspires and energises. So often we settle for so little – these tools are a great antidote to that!

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Tammy September 2, 2010 at 9:24 pm

Whew! That sounds like a full-time job! I do love the idea of picking one tiny step and working on it jedi-like for weeks though; now I just have to prioritize all the little things I want to improve. I think I may work on making a killer dinner-party dish as my first task. I’ve always wanted to do that but it always seemed like a petty thing to focus my time on.

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Mars Dorian September 3, 2010 at 2:32 am

Hey Tammy,
it sounds overwhelming but it’s not – like I said, one task as epic as possible as all you need for a step !

Making your dinner-party as killer as possible is one way to go – see it as a challenge which will increase your social skills !

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J.D. Meier September 7, 2010 at 3:27 am

> take epic little steps
I like that … powerful moves, a step at a time.

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Donna Willingham September 18, 2010 at 4:41 pm

Hi Annabel, thanks for this great post. I can vouch that thinking this way actually works – I took a course in Cairo not so long ago that helped me achieve these qualities, I highly recommend it to anyone who is looking for self improvement. Sarah Merron of Fire Dragon Coaching teaches strategies that really helped me focus on getting the best out of myself and others around me, for both my work and personal life. She runs courses all over the world, so it’s a fantastic way to travel at the same time.

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