Comments on: How Not To Deal With Rejection

By: Hilary

Hilary — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 08:56:53 +0000

Hi Anabel – good for you … maybe he doesn’t write too well either, or is writing from another age before technology .. be positive .. but don’t slate him – just prove your point – win through.

2010 will bring new rewards -
Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters Inspirational Stories

By: Buzz

Buzz — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 10:35:01 +0000

Annabel, don’t let the bastard grind you down! One ‘esteemed’ person’s viewpoint can be polar-opposites to another.
Heck, even J K Rowling went thru that bitter rejection period. Not one rejection, but 12!
So yes, breath, take some time out, and then review your options.
I may be a tad biased, but I think you’ve got it!

By: Annabel Candy

Annabel Candy — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 04:59:01 +0000

Brandi – Thanks. I was hoping it’s something everyone can relate to. Hehe, what guy anyway?

By: Brandi

Brandi — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 04:55:42 +0000

Thanks for your honesty Annabel! I felt validated in my own feelings of rejection as a writer. I definitely think this will be something you’ll look back on one day as a successful no.1 bestselling author. And that guy? You won’t even remember his name. =)

By: Annabel Candy

Annabel Candy — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 23:35:12 +0000

Robin, Randall, Bobh and Paul – So much brilliant advice. I’m really humbled that you’ve taken the time to share your thoughts and shine a light on this problem. It will definitely help motivate me and help me stay on track. I’ve noticed that there are two types of people in this world. Givers who love sharing their knowledge and experience with others and hoarders who jealously guard their knowledge. You are definitely givers and I hope I can give back to all of you. Thanks!

By: Paul

Paul — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 03:21:09 +0000

AC,

First, every editor wants to put his/her nose on your baby. It’s what editors do.

Second, this is one guy’s opinion, which may or may not have validity and creds. However, you paid him to tell you what was wrong. (What the heck is a “literary mentor?” Man, I gotta try that one.)

Third, a good piece is written. Greatness is created in editing and re-editing. I’ve never had a piece go through unscathed, whether it’s catalog copy for nutritional supplements or any other writing. Revisions are all part of the gig. Welcome to the wacky world of the written word.

Finally, it’s not about you. It’s about the writing. You have to make the distinction between self and words or you’ll always have doubts about your ability to write.

I’ve been an editor for 35 years. You’re better than you think.

By: Bobh

Bobh — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 14:57:35 +0000

Thanks for the post – first I applaud you for not only following your dream but then writing about the pain when there is a major bump. Another word for rejection is failure and most people avoid trying because of the fear of failure. It’s easy to make an excuse and not try rather than go for it and risk. As I got older and my “failures” mounted I’ve come to believe that failure demonstrates specific competency level. The etymology of root word = deficiency. But failure is complex. People interpret and respond differently – they attach emotions to it. And because most feedback in life is performance oriented, general, non-informative, or tinged with emotion, it’s easy to see how it can cause doubt, disinterest, frustration, lead to decrease in Self-Efficacy and motivation and then ultimately lead to task avoidance and learned helplessness. Net + Failure can be OK – Your perception is your reality.
Keep writing and sharing – Bob

By: Randall

Randall — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 14:48:59 +0000

That story was so painful, at least the first part! I know you won’t give up. I believe people sometimes are lfted to the status of a critic or expert and they just let it go to thier head. Some teachers do take a great deal of joy from injuring their students. My kids are in college and it seems some professors are prone to give thier class a hard time just because they can. Professors who are really effective and care about thier subjects and are passionate will take the time to translate thier experience and knowledge because they really believe in what they do.

There are others who have landed themselves in a profession to which they are not suited. Opinions are just that, opinions. We need to be selective where we seek out opinions about our work. I am through listening to people who obviously do not have my best interests at heart. That is not to say that we cannot take constructive critisizm but after a while if they don’t see any value, maybe it is the source that is sour and not the product!

Just thought I would leave a comment to hopefully encourage you and let you know how valuable you are to all of us. The story really pissed me off! How dare he try to degrade someone we are all fond of! Thanks for all you do!

By: Robin Dickinson

Robin Dickinson — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 10:09:55 +0000

I feel you, Annabel. Rejection can sting and leave an ache that is sensitive to touch. Sounds like you’re going to pull through – shaken, but not stirred.

I guess I come from the opposite world. A world where there is so much rejection that I nicknamed it ‘the rejection business’. It’s just part of the rough and tumble of my week. It adds colour and interest. As such, rejection is something I learned a long time ago, to never take personally.

Have a good break,

Robin

By: Annabel Candy

Annabel Candy — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 03:54:22 +0000

Brad – I like that. It does mean a lot to me so it makes sense that it hurts when you get criticised for something you want to be good at.

Lisa – Yes, just one man. Possibly with a few hangups too….

Connie – Thanks. They were good friends. I need to be grateful for that! And I don’t think they care if I’m a published author or not.

Carolyn – I really appreciate all the support I get here. I know I shouldn’t need it but I do. It helps so much. Thanks so much for your kind words:)