Comments on: Fuddy Duddy Mummy Exposed

By: Annabel Candy

Annabel Candy — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 09:29:37 +0000

Great to hear what you think. Well, at least now we can face our fears together now. I have mixed feelings about the girls outfits. On one hand when else do you have the figure to wear stuff like that and the knicker skimming skirts you’re talking about?! They should be able to wear what they want. On the other hand there are too many perverts around I think they should cover themselves up more to protect themselves from that. But I don’t want them to go round wearing burkas. Yes, definitely mixed feelings.

By: Heather

Heather — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 08:03:25 +0000

Hi Annabel, I have just taken a moment to read your site, great! The fuddy-duddy mummy thing – what do we do about it? I remember wearing my school drees so short I couldn’t even bend ever so slightly without showing my knickers! But do I want that for my kids? I don’t think so! The girls in their short hotpants with laddered tights are more of a worry to me than the boys and thier adornments. I imagine the boys are softies inside ( am I being niave?), just trying to ‘find themselves’, whereas the girls are following the trend and not thinking for themselves. And yes, I am scared about high school!!!

By: janet

janet — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 21:58:50 +0000

I think all that stuff you saw is pretty much normal comprehensive school of 2009. Good kids come in many strange guises these days. Tattoos & piercings are the current rage – don’t worry too much until you start seeing body implants – you know horns etc!!

By: Annabel Candy

Annabel Candy — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 06:54:42 +0000

Brilliant! Someone else to keep me on track.

Your daughter was very obedient but I do think we need to let them rebel in small ways in order to, hopefully, prevent rebellion on a larger scale further down the track. You’re well ahead of my in the parenting game but it is a game we need to stay on top of because, just when we think we’ve got our kids sorted, they change and you have to start all over again. Before I had my own daughter I often looked at other people’s girls and thought:
“How can people let their kids go out looking so disgusting.” Well, now I know! My lass, aged four, already has strong views on what to wear and sometimes I literally beg her to change her clothes so I don’t have to promenade around with her in ragged, paint-stained, handed down clothes a couple of sizes too small. How sad. I am trying to loosen up and allow her to develop her own style but it’s already hard. I know it won’t get any easier either.

Brisbane casino sounds wild! Yes, lets hope our kids can get it out of their system when they’re young – that kind of behavior is definitely even less attractive when you’re middle-aged. Look forward to keeping each other on track:)

By: Annabel Candy

Annabel Candy — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 06:40:37 +0000

Teresa – I love this story. How brave you were to approach them. I really think you did a wonderful thing and I’m sure they’ll be thinking a bit harder about other ways to entertain themselves next time. If only someone had taught them how to channel their boredom into something more creative and respectful of other people’s property! No, you are not filling the fuddy duddy criteria here. Definitely concerned citizen trying to make the world a better place. Well done!

PS. Don’t worry about typos when you comment here, I will clean them up. It is so frustrating not to be able to edit your comments after you click the submit button. I always clean up any of my visitors comments if I notice them so that you look as smart as you are. I bet plenty of typos slip through on my posts too. I’m trying not to be so anal about editing and reworking my posts. I’m hoping that I will get to the point where my readers can forgive me the odd typo and poor punctuation, as long as what I write is meaningful to them.

By: Annabel Candy

Annabel Candy — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 06:30:04 +0000

Connie – I am with you 100% on that. I don’t think it makes you a fuddy duddy though, just a normal adult who thinks children should be children. I too am sickened by the sight of little girls wearing high heels and footless tights under non-existent skirts. I’m talking about kids under the age of 10! I haven’t seen these halloween costumes but I can only imagine how ludicrous they are. We must not turn children into sexual objects, they should be dressed for climbing, digging, somersaulting and adventuring, not as eye candy. Thanks for bringing this up.

By: Annabel Candy

Annabel Candy — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 06:16:10 +0000

Hilary – Luckily I have another 18 months before I have to deal with the high school scene. Fashions may have changed by then but body piercing and tatoos don’t seem to be going away! Maybe if I indulge in a bit of it myself that will put my kids off:)

By: Annabel Candy

Annabel Candy — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 06:12:00 +0000

Lozza – Maybe turning into a fuddy duddy to some degree is inevitable. As long as we are aware of it and try to keep it under control, so we don’t turn into complete has-beens who young people roll their eyes and and would never turn to in times of need.

I really admire your parenting style. It sounds as if you are managing to strike a fine balance between setting up rules but also being there for your kids and listening to them. With my oldest only 11 it’s hard to imagine how I will manage when these things happen to me but that will be another adventure. Thank heavens you are there to support your son and bring him home safe when he pushes the limits. All kids will push the limits but they need a security net which you are providing. I really hope I turn out to be the type of parent my own kids and their friends can turn to when they need someone to listen to their problems. Not everyone can have understanding parents like you but at least those kids who can’t turn to their own parents are able to confide in you.

I think if there is one relationship worth working on more than any it is the parent-child relationship. I often feel guilty that I don’t have spend more one on one time with my kids. I have three of them and am trying to relaunch my career in a new country. I do find that guilt is part of being a parent and I often feel that I’m not doing enough. I hope I am though, and that I can continue to grow and learn with my children. Above all I want to respect them and encourage their self-confidence and unique individuality.

I’m sure you’re right that the kids I mention are in the minority – 3 out of 500 kids I saw maybe. I like to try to have fun and raise serious issues at the same time. That’s what I’m going for on Fridays from now on. Thanks for reading!

By: getlostwthlozza

getlostwthlozza — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 01:12:47 +0000

Morning Annabel,
Back from the outback and here is something that I constantly cringe about. I hear myself saying things I promised I would never say to my 17 year old son and realise I might be turning into a fuddy-duddy but then again maybe not???
I have an excellent relationship with my son and one of the lessons I taught him as he was growing up was to respect himself so that he can respect others. Now I am extremely proud of my son! Yes he has been in trouble with the police a couple of times doing silly teenage stuff (no where near as bad as I used to get in trouble for but thats another story ) and some may say I give him a little too much freedom but one of the reasons I am so proud of him is his attitude towards other people and other peoples property, he respects them and would never destroy stuff that did not belong to him, he looks after himself, eats properly, goes to the gym, boxing, karate, and has a great circle of friends. Yea he drinks and gets very drunk sometimes and I get weird phone calls at ungodly hours to come and pick him up but thats part of my job as a parent being there when my kids need me, no questions.
Yes he gets bored but instead of going out and destroying things that don’t belong to him he gets in touch with his friends and they go and do something or he even invites them over because he knows he can, we have rules at home and he knows and understands them and once again respects them. One reason for our great relationship is that I never judge him or what he does, I listen to what he says and if he wants my feedback or opinion he asks and I give it otherwise he knows he can talk to me about anything and there will be no judgement just support in whatever way he needs at that moment. It is tough at times but in the end it is very worth it. It must work cause I have a lot of his friends talking to me as well and sometimes just dumping and other times looking for some advice it is great when that happens but also a bit sad when they tell me that they could never talk to their parents about this kind of stuff
I suppose what I am trying to say is that like anything in life you get out of a situation (i.e. raising kids) what you put into it and unfortunately some parents just can’t find the time for the people that they bought into this world and some, horribly, just don’t care!!
Oh and by the way my son and daughter both go to the school in question and it is an excellent school that I would recommend and those rather silly looking twits you described are definitely in the minority but like so many things in life we are quick to see the bad, odd or strange before we see the good and there are a great deal of excellent young people going to that school.
Have fun and keep up the great work.
Lozza

By: Hilary

Hilary — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 09:47:03 +0000

Hi Annabel .. not sure what I’d do if I had kids .. but I’ve come to realise that they’ll do things to make an impression – ear piercing, extra doses of make up etc .. and then it’ll pass and the next time they’ll be in little girl dresses, or nice tidy clean shaven boys .. they change, they learn, they grow .. but like you I do hate ‘grunge’!

All the best with the start of term etc ..
Hilary Melton-Butcher
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