These days I have such lofty dreams. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you already know that my goal is to earn a living from writing and get my manuscript published. I’ve already traveled heaps, but, if things go to plan, I’d also love to make a return visit to Africa ^[1] and Costa Rica ^[2].

There are plenty of new places I want to experience as well, like many South America countries where I can submit the natives to my grammar-less spanish. Papua New Guinea and several Caribbean Islands are also calling my name. My dreams sound great don’t they? But there was a time when I wasn’t so ambitious.

Too Consumed By Daily Life To Dream

I can remember days when my kids were younger and my greatest goal in life was to go to the bathroom without being interrupted. But at the time, that was ambitious. I never managed to achieve it. Those days stretched into weeks, then months and finally years until all that I could really think about was getting through each day and completing my tasks: get up, feed people, clean, launder, feed people, shop, exercise the kids, feed people, wash them, comfort them, read to them and put them to bed.

If it sounds like a life without pleasure, that’s because it was. I ate little back then, I was too busy, and I did even less to make myself happy. I comforted myself by counting the years until my children left home and I would be free of this existence, the never-ending treadmill of drudgery that I was stuck on. “Only another 17 years to go and then things will get better.” I told myself.

Depression Can Hit Anyone

I know what you’re thinking ~ poor woman, she was depressed. It seems so obvious to me now, but at the time I had no idea. In fact, I had checked in with various medical professionals over the course of a few years: midwives, counselors, nurses and doctors, to see what was wrong with me. They all said I was fine. My dearest friends and relatives all agreed – they saw me as a happy, optimistic person who could never get depressed. So did I. To the outer world I was super mum, I kept a good house, I was a caring mother, I always had a funny story to tell friends. But I wasn’t happy.

Finally, when I was on the verge of breaking down, I went to see another counselor. By then my dream had morphed and all I really wanted out of life was to be away from my family. I dreamed of living in a garage or shed where I would be free of their emotional and physical demands.

At last, an incredible woman told me what I didn’t want to know, she said I had “severe moderate depression.” Hearing that made me feel even worse. As stupid as it sounds, I was shocked to be diagnosed with depression. I agreed with my friends and family that I wasn’t the type to get depressed. On top of all the problems and misery I was already feeling, now I had to come to terms with the fact that I had mental health problems too.

That’s how I ended up with a bio-hazard on my kitchen counter. I was given a pot with the words ‘bio-hazard’ was printed in big red letters on it. I needed to spit in first thing in the morning so my saliva could be tested to see if my hormones were causing my depression. They weren’t. There was something else making me depressed which only I could fathom out.

Recovering From Depression

I’ll cut a long story short here. You get the gist, I was depressed. Now here’s my point, the idea I want you to take away so that if it happens to you, or someone you know, they can bounce back from bad times quicker than I did.
We all have to go through bad stuff in our lives: depression, bereavement, sickness, addiction, financial problems. Most people will experience difficulties of some kind in their lives. After I was diagnosed as depressed I took anti-depressants for six months, but I also reassessed my life, started to prioritise my personal well-being and rethink my life philosophy.
If you get depressed or think you might be seek help. Don’t let depression drag on for years, like I did. Keep asking for help until you feel better.

Beware Of Believing In Karma

I used to believe in karma. You may too. It’s a popular idea because it’s comforting to think that good things happen to good people, and that bad people get what they had coming to them. But this outlook on life can be dangerous because bad things do happen to good people. In fact, bad things probably happen to good people more than they do to bad people, since most people are fundamentally good.

So beware of believing in karma, because people who do are more likely to get depressed than people who don’t.

5 Ways To Prevent Depression

1. Change the way you think
   If something bad happens to you, don’t blame yourself. Don’t think you brought it on yourself. Don’t think that you deserved it. You didn’t. Sometimes, bad things happen to good people.
2. Be optimistic
   Don’t dwell on the bad stuff ^[3]. Instead, concentrate on the things that make you feel good about yourself, the things that will help you feel better.
3. Be grateful
   Studies have proven that people who routinely write lists of things they are grateful for feel happier than people who don’t. Start practicing gratitude today ^[4].
4. Look after yourself first
   Give yourself permission to put yourself first, actively seek out what makes you happy ^[5] and look after yourself. No one else can do it was well as you can, no one else really knows how.
5. Do some exercise
   Exercising will raise your serotonin levels and make you feel happier. Start off slowly by going for a walk. ^[6] No special equipment needed: no fancy shoes, clothes, memberships or time schedules. No excuses, just get moving.

Final Word On Depression

I hope you never have as many joyless days as I did but, if you do, just know that it’s not your fault. If you feel depressed, the message nature is sending you isn’t that you are a bad person. The message is that you’re a sensitive person and you need to nurture yourself.
Start looking after yourself now, whether you’re depressed or not, because as with other health problems, when it comes to depression, prevention is better than cure.

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