5 Ways To Prevent Depression
Moon over Bocas Del Toro, Panama
Let’s Talk About Our Dreams
These days I have such lofty dreams. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you already know that my goal is to earn a living from writing and get my manuscript published.
I’ve already traveled heaps, but, if things go to plan, I’d also love to make a return visit to Africa and Costa Rica. There are plenty of new places I want to experience as well, like many South America countries where I can submit the natives to my grammar-less spanish. Papua New Guinea and several Caribbean Islands are also calling my name.
My dreams sound great don’t they? But there was a time when I wasn’t so ambitious.
Too Consumed By Daily Life To Dream
I can remember days when my kids were younger and my greatest goal in life was to go to the bathroom without being interrupted. But at the time, that was ambitious. I never managed to achieve it. Those days stretched into weeks, then months and finally years until all that I could really think about was getting through each day and completing my tasks: get up, feed people, clean, launder, feed people, shop, exercise the kids, feed people, wash them, comfort them, read to them and put them to bed.
If it sounds like a life without pleasure, that’s because it was. I ate little back then, I was too busy, and I did even less to make myself happy. I comforted myself by counting the years until my children left home and I would be free of this existence, the never-ending treadmill of drudgery that I was stuck on.
“Only another 17 years to go and then things will get better.” I told myself.
Depression Can Hit Anyone
I know what you’re thinking ~ poor woman, she was depressed. It seems so obvious to me now, but at the time I had no idea. In fact, I had checked in with various medical professionals over the course of a few years: midwives, counselors, nurses and doctors, to see what was wrong with me. They all said I was fine. My dearest friends and relatives all agreed – they saw me as a happy, optimistic person who could never get depressed. So did I. To the outer world I was super mum, I kept a good house, I was a caring mother, I always had a funny story to tell friends. But I wasn’t happy.
Finally, when I was on the verge of breaking down, I went to see another counselor. By then my dream had morphed and all I really wanted out of life was to be away from my family. I dreamed of living in a garage or shed where I would be free of their emotional and physical demands.
At last, an incredible woman told me what I didn’t want to know, she said I had “severe moderate depression.” Hearing that made me feel even worse. As stupid as it sounds, I was shocked to be diagnosed with depression. I agreed with my friends and family that I wasn’t the type to get depressed. On top of all the problems and misery I was already feeling, now I had to come to terms with the fact that I had mental health problems too.
That’s how I ended up with a bio-hazard on my kitchen counter. I was given a pot with the words ‘bio-hazard’ was printed in big red letters on it. I needed to spit in first thing in the morning so my saliva could be tested to see if my hormones were causing my depression. They weren’t. There was something else making me depressed which only I could fathom out.
Recovering From Depression
I’ll cut a long story short here. You get the gist, I was depressed. Now here’s my point, the idea I want you to take away so that if it happens to you, or someone you know, they can bounce back from bad times quicker than I did.
We all have to go through bad stuff in our lives: depression, bereavement, sickness, addiction, financial problems. Most people will experience difficulties of some kind in their lives. After I was diagnosed as depressed I took anti-depressants for six months, but I also reassessed my life, started to prioritise my personal well-being and rethink my life philosophy.
If you get depressed or think you might be seek help. Don’t let depression drag on for years, like I did. Keep asking for help until you feel better.
Beware Of Believing In Karma
I used to believe in karma. You may too. It’s a popular idea because it’s comforting to think that good things happen to good people, and that bad people get what they had coming to them. But this outlook on life can be dangerous because bad things do happen to good people. In fact, bad things probably happen to good people more than they do to bad people, since most people are fundamentally good.
So beware of believing in karma, because people who do are more likely to get depressed than people who don’t.
5 Ways To Prevent Depression
- Change the way you think
If something bad happens to you, don’t blame yourself. Don’t think you brought it on yourself. Don’t think that you deserved it. You didn’t. Sometimes, bad things happen to good people. - Be optimistic
Don’t dwell on the bad stuff. Instead, concentrate on the things that make you feel good about yourself, the things that will help you feel better. - Be grateful
Studies have proven that people who routinely write lists of things they are grateful for feel happier than people who don’t. Start practicing gratitude today. - Look after yourself first
Give yourself permission to put yourself first, actively seek out what makes you happy and look after yourself. No one else can do it was well as you can, no one else really knows how. - Do some exercise
Exercising will raise your serotonin levels and make you feel happier. Start off slowly by going for a walk. No special equipment needed: no fancy shoes, clothes, memberships or time schedules. No excuses, just get moving.
Final Word On Depression
I hope you never have as many joyless days as I did but, if you do, just know that it’s not your fault. If you feel depressed, the message nature is sending you isn’t that you are a bad person. The message is that you’re a sensitive person and you need to nurture yourself.
Start looking after yourself now, whether you’re depressed or not, because as with other health problems, when it comes to depression, prevention is better than cure.
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Filed under: Dare To Dream, Self Improvement and Development | Print This Post
Thanks for this – loved the 5 key points. It is amazing how to the outer world things can seem normal but underneath the surface things certainly are not. Finding balance and prioritising the important/fun/pleasant things is the key and this needs lots of work to ensure that you stay away from the ‘black dog’ Good luck with everything and keep up the great work. Steve
Thanks Steve, it seems so easy now it’s hard to believe that I let myself get so miserable. I hope this will help someone avoid it.
I’ve found the best way to beat depression is to follow the steps you have said Annabel, but also to not resist it when it comes. Many when they are depressed start feeding into it with thoughts, such as, “I’m always going to be depressed” or “This is the worst, I will never get better” etc.
But if one just lets themselves feel it, understand that yes they feel bad, but in time, it will pass just don’t feed into it…it does pass, and much quicker. At least, that is what has worked for me in the past.
There is a great book on this called “The Mindful Way Through Depression”…great stuff.
Thanks for the great post!
Dayne
Great post! thankyou, I’ve struggled with depression as well for a number of years now and the points you listed really help – especially going for a walk, that’s the first thing I do when I’m down, especially if there is sunshine! it was also enlightening to read your story, thankyou for sharing
these are the other things that help me out personally:
Do something random, something silly and different. it could be swinging on the swingset at the park (when was the last time you did that?) or going out to minigolf or fish and chips on the beach. anything fun to shake things up a little.
Do something creative, try to express how you are feeling through drawing or writing or just play some music and sing and dance around the house like an idiot. strangely the last one is also how I get my housework done!
Dayne & Jennie, glad you got something out of that. Writing about depression seems a bit bleak but none-the-less it needs to be said. I recovered about 6 years ago but once you’ve been depressed you never want to feel that again. Now I can recognise problems happening earlier and take positive action to sort it out. Walking is huge for me too – I’m always pacing the streets and if I ever slip out of the habit for a week ago I can start to feel a bit down, then I know I need to get moving again. Thanks for sharing your tips with us. Depression is a life-threatening problem so it needs to be addressed and prevented where possible. Most of all if people are too consumed by depression they lose the ability to dream and do something exciting with their life.
I’m aware that I’m currently nudging dangerously towards depression. I will need to re-appraise some stuff and also get my butt moving and do some EXERCISE…. well straight after I’ve finished the document I’m procrastinating about… and then my prep for a presentation etc etc
Anyhow good to read you and catch up soon.
Thanks for reading. It’s brilliant that you’re aware Unfortunately reading and writing about depression seem to be a bit… well… depressing. Maybe a quick read of the gratitude article will cheer us up. The good thing about being grateful is that it can be done anywhere in ten minutes. Sometimes we do it with the kids over supper. See: http://www.getinthehotspot.com/2009/08/12/10-things-to-be-grateful-for-and-why-you-should-be/ for more info. And yes, I need to get moving too!
thanks for posting this annabel. i think it’s really important that you did. i was driving through sippy downs the other day and thinking about how you have travelled the world…you are a mother…you manage to write…all of these things…and you seem to be really happy (which I’m sure you are!). knowing that you too have these feelings and thoughts going on at times reassures me that it’s not just something that i’m dealing with alone. everyone needs to know that they are not alone with this. =) thanks again.
Very true. Frequently, the first key to beating Depression is to stop denying that one has it, but there is a line between being depressed and having Depression, albeit a fine one.
Also, there needs to be recognition that Depression isn’t a `one-size-fits-all’ condition, so everyone who experiences it needs an individual solution.
`Don’t worry, be happy’ may work for some, but it can be alienating for others, who might feel that their depression trigger is being trivialised, or they’re just not being listened to.
I think talking to each other is an excellent therapy, which is free.
Isolation on its own can cause heaps of problems, especially if one is straining under an unseen burden like Depression.
I’ve found that networking as part of my job-seeking efforts makes very good sense; so many people I meet have allowed isolation from work, from colleagues, from clients, from money, to build invisible walls around them, which begin as a defence but morph into a prison from which they can’t escape.
Solutions include joining a club or group, go to TAFE to do a course, or go along to some of the free events and walks that occasionally come up in the paper, or have a look at the notice board at the local Library.
Voluntary work is always available if you only look for it; I think that the local socio-economic system would collapse without thousands of people doing things for nothing.
Volunteering Sunshine Coast or Volunteering Queensland is a good starting point.
Thanks for that excellent advice, Tony. So informative and I totally agree with you.
In particular, that people should not think that they can get over depression by being positive. That didn’t work for me as a “cure” depression (anti-depressants did) but it does work for me as a preventative measure. I’m keen to get people actively seeking happiness or contentment in their daily lives, but definitely if they are depressed (or suffering from true depression, not just having a bad week) they should seek professional help.
Talking is good but talking to a professional counselor best.
Loneliness and isolation are definitely the enemy. Life is so much better when you have people to share it with and I love your ideas for reaching out for others. Especially volunteering. I have plans to write an article about it actually.
needed that
Annabel. this advice is very valuable to me, I have just been diagnosed with depression too.
I wanted to know, do you really think pills are essential for recovery?
Lian – So sorry to hear about your diagnosis. When I was diagnosed as depressed it made me even more depressed. You’ve obviously seen a doctor so that’s good. If you haven’t you must.
Re pills I would say it depends how bad your depression is. If you are severly depressed and even thinking of hurting yourself in anyway you need anti-depressants. Depression is life-threatening and must be taken seriously. Medication saves lives and makes you feel better. You owe it to yourself and the friends and family who love you to take care of yourself.
If you are moderately depressed you can try other methods first if you prefer. I recommend regular exercise. Preferably daily. I use this to keep me on an even keel. St. John’s Wort is supposed to work but I’ve never tried it. There are other natural methods you can try but if the depression isn’t going away or easing up after 4 weeks take the pills. I only needed them for 6 months. They work, they aren’t addictive. Yes, there is still a social stigma attached but the funny thing is that when I went on anti-depressants I wasn’t depressed any more. Take care of yourself Lian. I hope you have some family and friends you can confide in and that you will go back to the doctor if you don’t get better soon. My biggest regret about my depresssion is that I didn’t go on the anti-depressants sooner.
Looking on the bright side it’s great you’ve been diagnosed because now you can work out what caused your depression, how it got so bad and how you can avoid it in future. I read heaps of books about depression and that helped me too. And this is no substitute for anti-depressants but do focus on things in life that lift your spirits (and avoid those that get you down). There are some ideas I use in my post 101 Ways To Feel Happy: http://www.getinthehotspot.com/101-ways-to-feel-happy/