Isao – Great to see you here. Yes, I think kids of that age defy reason sometimes. Knowing when to give up on something is so important and I think I often carry on too long when I should just move on. Getting better but still something I need to be aware of:)

Armen – Thanks for commenting. The fear one doesn’t sit well with me I must admit. But the asking for something small is so smart. Get them hooked and used to saying yes before going for the big one:)

I must say that that 50 ways persuasion book sure is great. I read it and knew it would be a relevant resource to refer back to.

Not asking for too much is a smart thing. Asking for something is also a smart thing. That would mean to ask for small things, which makes sense. It can work into other folks’ schedules and desires, so that is where we should stay in requests.

I see point #3 about fear all over the place. It is used so much. A big chunk of advertising is meant to make folks fear that how they are in their current state is not going to lead them to what they want. It works very well in getting folks to purchase.

Say, “Wouldn’t it be great if you could wear your favorite shoes everyday, and never had to wear shoes you don’t like? Wouldn’t that be great?”

By empathizing that deeply with her, and more importantly, giving her the gift of the fantasy-perfect situation, you help defuse the tension inherent in her current reality.

Used to work for me pretty well, when I remembered in the heat of things to use it.

Still works with my daughter, now almost thirteen. When I remember to use it.

Ryan – That sounds good and then you have the social proof sewn up too…

Fida – These computers are tricky. If I could persuade mine to do what I want it to 100% of the time I’d be even happier.

J.D. – Convincer strategies sound fascinating. I need to find out more about those. It is easier to buy something off someone you know and like. And therefore probsably more persuasive not to do the hard sell until you’ve built up a trusting relationship.

JenG – Thanks for the book recommendation and for joining us. Hope sounds more appealing than fear as a way of winning people over too. Scare tactics seem bullyish but dangling a carrot more reasonable. I think most of us are optomists at heart and want to believe things will get better.

One of the most important guidelines is always rapport before influence.

It also helps to know somebody’s “convincer strategy” (which is basically their meta-program for how they end up convinced.) For example, some people need to hear something from 3 different people, some people need to see it for themselves … etc. When I didn’t know the convincer strategy of the people I have to influence at work, I wasted a lot of time … too much time.